beyond our wildest dreams...

Less than 24 hours after I posted my last entry things are encouraging once again. My mom called this morning to say a sweet neighbor had given her the name of a pain mgmt Dr a friend from their church was seeing here in the Springs. So that's one lead. A couple of hours later our original pain mgmt Dr e-mailed to say he'd done some checking and it seems that the Dr we've been seeing in Denver is going to be working part-time here in the Springs as well. So now we have two options, and one is a Dr who's already familiar with Amy's situation. Talk about answered prayer! While our decision seems like an obvious one, we're going to take a little time to pray for God to lead us in the direction that's best for Amy. His will in this situation is the perfect plan, after all. It's hard to step back when the path seems so clear, but this is definitely a decision that needs to be bathed in prayer.
And speaking of prayer...I found another thought provoking quote this morning. "Is He teaching you? Are you trying to serve God without talking to Him? Are you forgetting that after we believe, He is with us always? How many of you can spend hours in someone's presence and not utter a word to him?" I love that! Sometimes I forget that my prayers don't have to be elaborate. He's perfectly happy with my one-liners, too. A fulfilling and effective prayer life doesn't have to be intimidating. It just has to be heartfelt and constant. And of course, my heart and mind have to be open to hear His leading. Good reminders.

here we go again...

Last week Amy's Dr e-mailed me about what he'd like to do next...another spinal procedure. If she gets 4+ days of relief, he thinks we're on the right track and hopefully a series of these will finally bring relief. If she gets less than 4 days of relief, he wants to talk about implanting a neurotransmitter. We told him we're willing to try the injections again but are doubtful about putting her thru any more major procedures. I waited several days to hear from his office, but finally today I just called up there to see if they were ready to schedule anything. They said they'd check with him and get back to me by the end of the week. This afternoon we received a certified letter saying he was leaving the practice and we needed to find another pain management doctor. So I'm pretty sure the return phone call will be that he's not going to do any more procedures before he's no longer with that clinic. I'm so disappointed! This is the second pain mgmt Dr Amy's had who is leaving a practice. So now it looks like we have to start all over again with someone else. Amy's ready to just live with the pain and call it good. But we really do feel like we were getting somewhere finally, and we kind of hate to give up now. Agh! Sometimes trusting in God's perfect plan is so hard. I know He has things under control and that there's a reason for these trials. So even though I'm not too thrilled about this turn of events, I'm going to trust that things will work out as they should. Tonight I'll pray for patience and strength to face the unknowns ahead. For Amy's sake I hope we figure things out soon. Our timetable says we need to get her pain under control before she heads off to school in the fall. But even if it takes awhile, I know things are unfolding as they should. I choose to trust God to do what's best for our girl. I'm so glad to know He loves her and knows what's best even when I'm clueless!

update...

Laura just changed my blog settings so you can once again leave comments, but now I have the power to reject you if I so choose! If you leave a comment and it doesn't post right away, never fear. It won't post until I check my e-mail and then decide if I'll allow it or not. My wonderful and awesome friends have nothing to worry about. Only a certain someone won't like this new situation, and that's just too darn bad!

prayer...

A friend of ours desperately needs prayer, and that's been on my mind so much. I'm not very good with words when I pray. I just talk to God like a friend who's sitting right beside me, which of course, is true. If I try to say "the right words" I tend to trip over my thoughts. So my prayers are simple--almost childlike. I don't think He minds, though. As long as the lines of communication are open, it's all good. I think that's one of the reasons I won't pray out loud, though. I'm intimidated with trying to sound like someone I'm not instead of just sharing my heart with Christ. I prefer to pray for an audience of One. It works for me. I love to talk to God at night. There's just something soothing about winding down the day with my best friend. I used to feel guilty for falling asleep while talking with Him until I ran across a cool quote...
"Falling asleep in prayer is no problem. You can rest in God's presence. Besides, next to the heart of God is a good place, a safe place, for sleeping."
I like that. It's works for me. My most restful nights are when I fall asleep in prayer. Today, I feel rested. I'm sure you know why!

quiet...

Laura is back at school and it's a bit quiet around here. We laughed a LOT while she was home...always a good thing. She seems so happy, and it's wonderful to listen to the girls when they're all together. My head hurts tonight from smiling so much. No complaints, though. Life is good. Really, really good.

It's a mom thing...

Two years ago this month Laura received her sweatshirt from Sand Creek for earning a 3.5 GPA or above for 7 semesters of high school. Last night Amy received hers as well, so they humored me by posing for a picture. It's a mom thing. Someday they'll understand.

Thanks, God!

I picked Laura up from Mines today and brought her home for a night. All of my chicks are in the nest and it's such a lovely feeling! We don't see a lot of Laura, so we need to make sure our time with her is "quality" since we don't get "quantity." A lot of my friends talk of how they just cry when their kids go to college, but I have to say that hasn't been the case with us. Laura is so happy at school and loves the challenges she faces daily. If she were a basket case every time we dropped her off, maybe I would be, too. But I guess we've done something right, because she loves it there. Her freshman year required a lot of adjustments, but with summer school and part of her second year behind her she's adapted beautifully. And who would have thought at an engineering school she'd have a ton of Christian friends?!! I love God's sense of humor. She has amazing friends and they really lift each other up in so many ways. She has an incredible church family, and most of the RA's she works with in the dorm are Christ followers, too. Who'd a thunk?!! I'm learning that even when my prayers are small, God's provision is HUGE. He loves Laura even more than I do. Of course He's going to watch out for her! Thanks, God.

Today we got the final word from Amy's coach that the COSHAA denied his request to allow Amy to play golf this season. She was finally going to be captain this year and the only senior on the team. But because she's not taking a full course load (for medical reasons), she isn't qualified to play and no exception will be made. I thought Amy would be devastated. She's been looking forward to this for a long time. But in typical Amy fashion, she just smiled and moved on to the next thing on her list which is applying for scholarships. I really do think she's ok and that it's not just an act. All she's been thru has taught her to focus on what's important and not dwell on the things that aren't. I'm amazed and impressed that this girl already knows what some people take a lifetime to learn.

Darn it!

By last night Amy's pain was pretty much back to the pre-surgery level, unfortunately. So while she did, indeed, get some relief from the procedure, it didn't last nearly as long as we'd hoped it would. I'll e-mail the Dr on Wednesday to see what his thoughts are on where we need to go from here. Darn it! We were so excited to think it might last longer. But three good days are better than no good days at all, so we need to remember to be thankful and hopeful that there will be more ahead. "I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds the future."

A gentle reminder of Who is in control...

The pre-surgery pain hasn't returned for Amy yet, thankfully. ( I think right now her back is bothering her even more than her feet. She forgets about the procedure and is reminded each time she bends over to pick something up.) Yesterday one of her feet fell asleep, and she hadn't felt that sensation in quite awhile. I think it surprised her to realize what it was! We're encouraged that she's doing so well and recognize the power of prayer in her life. After the previous procedure I'm not sure we were too hopeful about how this one would turn out. But God is having a laugh on us as He surprised us all with His healing power. We don't know how long this relief will continue, but it's exciting to be reminded that He does, indeed, have total control over the situation. What a sweet reminder that His power is perfect when ours is weak.

Day 1 post-op

It's now been just over 24 hours since Amy's surgery and so far, so good! She still doesn't have the pain that she had before the procedure, and that's really encouraging. At this point we're just taking it one day at a time and praying she'll get long term relief. Her Dr was excited that we decided to let her go to culinary school and thinks that was a wise decision. He seems pretty confident she'll be ready. And if her positive attitude alone carries her through, I KNOW she'll be fine. She's determined and ready to face what's ahead. That's one girl who loves a challenge. Watch out, world!

home...

We're finally home after a long day in Denver. It could have been much longer, so I guess that's the first silver lining. Amy's surgery was scheduled for 10:20, but when we checked in at 8:15 they said the Dr was ahead of schedule and before we knew it she was on her way! I've never seen the pre-op procedure so expedited! The team today was wonderful and clearly adored being with Amy. The only negative for her was the IV in her wrist. Evidently the nurse who put it in was "less than gentle" and Amy didn't appreciate that much. By 9:50 she was back in post-op and sleeping soundly. They finally woke her up and informed her the first step toward freedom was a successful potty stop. After 2700 cc's of fluid, she was eager to comply, and in no time we were headed to the car. Dr Brewer wants us to take note of when the pain returns (and seems quite certain it WILL return at some point.) The length of time it takes to come back will tell him what he's dealing with. At this point he does not feel she has RSD, so that's outstanding news! (It's a chronic pain condition which could haunt her for the rest of her life.) He seems hopeful that with another set or two of injections we just might get a handle on this. I pray he's right. So now we're in wait and see mode. I'm to e-mail him on Wednesday with an update and he'll let us know his thoughts on where to go from here.
My favorite moment of the day was in post-op when the nurse took the IV out and Amy said, "If I were a cussing type there would have been a lot of choice words!" Thru everything, she really has kept her sense of humor and it's easy to see why the surgical teams love having her as a patient. You should have seen a couple of the others close by. My, my...they were going to be high maintenance for sure! As it was, Amy was only in post-op a short time, she was able to walk easily afterward, and she even managed to go out for lunch with us when we headed over to Mines to drop some things off to Laura. All in all, this procedure was easier on her even though it was a bit more invasive. I'm amazed at how strong and determined she is. But when you think about Who is holding her in the palm of His hand, it all makes sense, doesn't it?
Thanks again for your prayers. We're blown away by how thoughtful and caring everyone has been. It sure is comforting to know Amy is so loved.

surgery

We have authorization for the surgery on Thursday, so check back later that evening for an update. Amy is quite ready to be done with all of this, as I'm sure you can imagine. Please keep praying! We're running out of options, I'm afraid.

Surgery #8

Assuming the Dr's office gets authorization from our insurance company, surgery #8 is next Thursday. The last one never changed her pain level at all, unfortunately. Even the tingling in her feet is back after a very short time. If the next lumbar injections don't help, we go back for an office visit to discuss remaining options. I"m not sure there can be many left at this point, but we'll at least listen to what he has to say. We know the Great Physician, though, and He's a miracle worker!!!!

The comment police are here...

Because a certain person chose to leave a rude and spineless comment on my last entry, I changed my settings. From now on no one will be able to leave comments, unfortunately. One person ruined it for everyone else. To my good friends and faithful followers, feel free to e-mail me instead. (You know where to find me!) To the one who ruined it for the rest...don't think I don't know who you are. It's pretty obvious.

Wonder of wonders!

Today was such a beautiful day in Colorado...lots of sunshine and blue skies. Although winters are usually quite lovely out here, today was exceptional. Even though it's only early February, we all had a bit of "spring fever." Amy REALLY had it, though. After school she changed into shorts and a tank top and took off on a short run. It's been AGES since she was able to run! I'm not saying there was no pain and that she didn't pay a price for her enthusiasm. But she did it! Unfortunately, not long afterward she was hurting again. But for a few glorious minutes, she was able to pretend she was just like everyone else around here. It was a joy to behold!

A glimmer of hope...

Yesterday was the first day Amy noticed any change since surgery on Thursday. While her pain level hasn't changed, at least the constant tingling on the outside of her feet is gone. We don't know if it's a temporary thing or permanent, but at least for now it feels like progress...enough to give us a glimmer of hope that things are happening. I left a message for the Dr in Denver today with an update, but I don't anticipate hearing from him for a couple of days at least. More later!